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One night, my husband and I were at my best friend’s apartment. After a few cosmopolitans and a game of truth or dare, we all ended up in bed together. The sex was so sensational that we started meeting for weekends trysts. One afternoon, i caught myself in a garden collecting wild butterflies for her. What the fuck? I realized i had fallen in love with my best friend. As it turned out: my husband had too. Suddenly it was a lot to juggle. He and I were still in love with each other. I loved them both, they loved each other, and they both loved me. The scenario was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. I tried to reconcile the picket-fence relationship I’d been living with this fucked up new three-sided mutation. When faced with the question of whether to follow this attraction into uncharted territory or to lock away the messy feelings for our next lives, I didn’t know which way to go.

But, I discovered that loving and being loved by more than one person can be spectacular. Some of us have enough love to give two people… and, why not? There are so many cool people in the world and if you’re lucky enough to meet more than one of them, is it really necessary to slam the door? One lover might spark your imagination, another might fire up your intellectual curiosity. There’s so much to gain by experiencing deep connections with more than one person.

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People in successful long-term triad relationships say once they’ve conquered jealousy and possessiveness, they ooze with happiness at the sight of their partner receiving love from another person. This overwhelming feeling is hard to explain to someone who’s never experienced it. But it’s true. Personally, I’ve felt inexplicably happy seeing my husband treated affectionately and adoringly by another. The love spills over and I get some, too.

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